I’ve gone back & forth in sharing some of my thoughts, because as my husband always likes to point out, no one gets on social media ready to change their opinion. I hope, if you choose to read on, that you can do so with an open mind & heart.
I came upon this scripture a couple years ago after something was said by a church leader & social media sort of exploded afterwards: “And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.” -Moroni 7:47.
I came away wondering, what does it mean to “believe all things” as it relates to having charity? How are they connected? I used to always assume it meant “you believe all things- you have faith” type of thing. But studying charity, while seeing so much contention on social media, made me reflect on that aspect of charity more.
I came to this conclusion: believing all things means you believe the experiences and emotions of others are what they say they are. Even if those experiences and emotions are different than yours- believe them.
Believing them doesn’t have to mean that you agree with them- it means that you are extending charity and compassion towards someone else. You can still have your own opinions while believing & validating those of others- you just need to listen and love. We can take others at their word when they share their experiences- without any need to get defensive, argue, etc. Just listen with a loving, open heart and mind. Trust people & accept their opinions without feeling the need to prove or to convince them that they are “wrong”. With the conversations around things like religion, politics, etc getting so toxic or explosive, it’s easy to forget that our opinion is not the only one that matters or the only one that could possibly be right. Sometimes, BOTH opinions/experiences can be right and it doesn’t have to be one or the other.
So, next time someone says they’re having a hard time with something a church leader said, but you arent- believe them.
If someone says it is uncomfortable to watch general conference- believe them.
If someone says it’s painful or difficult to come to church- believe them.
If someone leaves the church, don’t oversimplify or invalidate their experiences by claiming they are lazy or taking the easy way out. You can believe that they have their own reasons for leaving, even if you don’t agree with them. Believe them.
If a woman tries to explain that she feels unseen or unheard or unappreciated at church- believe her. Just because your experiences haven’t been the same, doesn’t mean anyone else’s are less valid or real. This is definitely an instance where it doesn’t have to be “one or the other”- some women are fine with the status quo, but that doesn’t mean we should disregard the women who are not. Listen & believe them.
In his book “The Law of Love”, Steve Young says- “Even if we understand the idea that we should love people, we sometimes think we're supposed to love them back onto our path instead of respecting their own journey. I'm not trying to love people into coming with me. I'm just loving people.” Show people true charity by believing their experiences, feelings & opinions. Imagine how our relationships could all improve if we took the time to do so. If we have faith that Christ understands and believes each of our own experiences, can’t we try to extend the same charity to others? ❤️
